Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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