Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
