Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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