in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
