based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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