Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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