You're so nebulous sometimes
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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