I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
