I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
