So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
