Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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