I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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