eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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