I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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