I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize