oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Ketchup is God's man juice
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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