i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
