Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
