It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
