How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
