You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
