What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
