Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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