put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
