he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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