what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
