We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
