You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
