have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
