Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
