I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
