Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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