She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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