ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
