How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize