I've blown a few things in my day
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
