And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize