plz talk dirty to me
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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