Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
