i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
