i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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