Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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