It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
