pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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