What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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