At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
