That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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