But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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