i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
