handjob tips. give me some.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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