all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
