Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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