1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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