my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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