Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
