Me too!
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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