Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
